


Thinking Space

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, Holidays, M/M, Series, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-12-21
Updated: 2001-12-21
Packaged: 2018-11-10 10:08:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11124966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Sequel to What I Do.  More insight into the inner workings of Ray K.





	Thinking Space

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

  
Thinking Space

## Thinking Space

by Gina

Author's website: http://www.jonesie.tvheaven.com

Disclaimer: Not mine, but a girl can wish, right?

Author's Notes: 

Story Notes: 

This story is a sequel to: What I Do 

* * *

Thinking Space (Part 2 of the What I Do series) By Gina 

December 21, 2001 

Dear Ben, 

Merry Christmas! Okay, so maybe that sounds a bit weird, because you haven't heard from me since I bailed on you months ago. Sorry it's been so long. I didn't know when or where I was going and I sure as Hell didn't know how long I'd be gone. It feels like years, Ben. And I miss you. 

Yeah, I can see you checking out the postmark on the envelope right about now. Don't get too excited. By the time you get this I'll be far from Detroit. And you. God, I hate this, Ben. I wish I could be with you, but I just can't. I just can't. I love you so much that I hurt. All the time, anymore. The real Ray Kowalski is hurting and I need distance to make it stop. 

It's all me, Frase. You did nothing wrong. You loved me and I'm the one that is damaged, that can't get my head around all that is going on inside it. I'm trying. Honestly. I want to come home, but not quite yet. I still have thinking and doing to do. 

I've been sorta drifting around the past two months. Meeting people, learning new things. Never staying in one place too long, though. I get itchy, you know? Nowhere is like Chicago, and that's both good and bad. But it's different, and a new view is just what the doc ordered, I think. 

Yes, I'm taking care of myself. Best I can, at least. Who knew that a washed up ex-cop could find decent employment with no skills other than wielding a gun? Manual labor seems to let me think about things, though, while still earning food and room money. I'm eating, okay? Tell Mum not to worry. 

Yeah, I saddled you with the folks, didn't I? Just another screw up on my part. Sorry. Really. I hope they took it all right. I guess I really should have called them and warned them. Not thinking, I guess. Tell them I love them? 

Geesh! I just realized I don't even know if you are still at our apartment. Oh, sure you are. Where else would you go? Canada maybe? Nah. God, not back to the consulate, I hope. Nah. Dief would never stand for it. 

How is the old furball anyhow? I miss him almost as much as I miss you. Give him a hug for me, and a slice of pizza. No matter what your grandparents might have told you as a kid, pizza IS a required food. Enjoy one at least every once in a while, okay? 

Well, my bus just got called, so I guess I'd better end this thing and stick it in the mailbox. Yeah, I sold the GTO so tell Welsh to pull the APB on it. Anyhow, I hope you get this thing. I won't know if you don't, but I'll keep my fingers crossed that you do. I love you Ben. Always have and always will. And I will return, someday. Maybe when I find my true self. Keep the light on, okay? 

Ray 

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End Thinking Space by Gina:

Author and story notes above.


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